But I really wasn't thinking about any of those kinds of bricks. I was thinking of the bricks that people throw at leaders. You know, problems, complaints, offenses, gripes - all that lovely stuff that every leader has to deal with. Most of those bricks are fresh and new, hot out of the oven. But other times someone lets their brick settle into the ground for a long time before they dig it back up and throw it at you. And when they do finally decide to hurl it your way, it's caked with dirt and has yucky squirmy things attached to the bottom - things you never knew existed. I hate that.
One thing is certain: if you're a leader, you'll have your share of bricks tossed at you from a number of directions – your people, your coworkers, your customers, your leader, etc. You get the picture. It's one thing to learn how to duck and dodge the incoming bricks, awkwardly shucking and jiving to avoid getting blasted in the teeth. Our first instinct is to get out of the way, isn't it? I mean, who really enjoys conflict and pain? But get this: successfully dodging a brick does not equal problem-solving. It only creates a false sense of relief until the next brick comes. Or worse, the brick you just dodged does a boomerang job and clocks you in the back of the skull when you least expect it. Either way, a leader who fails to properly address bricks is setting himself up for a rude awakening. One brick becomes many bricks, and the leader is soon buried under a pile. I'm not aware of too many people who can be effective while lying crushed under a pile of rubble. And I don't mean Barney and Betty (that would be weird).
I love this picture - I just know there is an ineffective leader under there somewhere...
What am I saying then, that we shouldn't avoid the bricks? Yep, that's exactly what I'm saying. As a leader, you must stand there and take your medicine, even if it feels like a three pound chunk of kiln-dried clay cracking you square in the chicklets. There's more. It's not enough to simply absorb the bricks, letting them smash into you full force. And as much as you might want to return the favor by throwing a few bricks of your own at the person who started things, you really can't. Well, I suppose you could. It might make you feel better for a quick second, but it ultimately wouldn't add any value at all to either of you. Instead, you must learn how to use those bricks to build a foundation with the other person. Not a wall, a foundation. Big difference there, Chief. Using the bricks in this way is definitely not easy. In fact, it takes great intentionality and plenty of practice. But if you are willing to be a good listener and put the other person's interests first, you can begin to carefully lay the foundation for a better relationship. And in case you didn't know, EVERYTHING is about relationships. People come and go from jobs, churches, social clubs, neighborhoods - even friendship circles - because of relationship (or a lack thereof).
So, the next time someone throws a brick at you, don't try to dodge it. Rather, catch it (or them, if it's a handful of bricks) and begin laying a foundation. Doing so will do more than helping to solve the problem du jour. It will also strengthen the relationship, one flying chunk of opportunity at a time.
J.
